Love this reply! I love your journey with hope. Your belief is admirable. Your mental strength amazing. Your ability to forge your way out of frightful situations incredible. Your determination is contagious! 😘💚
Wowzers. I love to read/hear of the relationship we each have with hope. That, and the part it plays in the journey into the unknown that so many of us are on.
For me, at one time it felt like all I had was hope. And it felt like I was setting off into the unknown, having had made my choice and big scary decision, with me and this big back of hope slung across my shoulder on a stick.
It was only when I came to look back I see I had so much more than hope. I had belief, mental strength and the ability to create my way out of the frightful situation I found myself in. I had no inkling or idea of what the future held or of any difference it would make. But, still, I set off into the unknown all alone. With my superpower, determination as my ally. Even though at one time I’d even turned against that.
I'm holding back the tears as I write, and I confess I'm fumbling for the right words, but please know that your words have really touched me. I have read a few of your posts this morning, and I just want to get in my car and come down to Andalusia and give you the biggest hug and sit with you a while.
I have been to hopelessness and returned and wavered back and forth almost all my life, but in the end I suppose it has been hope that has spurred me on, or perhaps sheer bloody mindedness and an inability to give up.
That's what I read in your words too, that you don't give up even at your lowest ebb.
Thank you so much for writing to me and with such heartfelt words. It is for moments like this that I share my writing, moments of connection and of deep knowing.
I would very much welcome you to Andalusia with a big hug and we could sit in the lovely spring sun over a coffee. Either talk or not, knowing we’re already connected through words.
I think the idea that hope is still there, somewhere, and a stubbornness that is keeping me keeping on is true. Even though it feels hopeless, I’m still here trying to find small joys in each day. I’m just putting one front in front of the other as I process what is pushing a low ebb indeed.
Un abrazo fuerte (sometimes Spanish is much more affectionate than English) 🫂💚
¡Aiii nena! Desde aquí en el norte te envío “una abraçada molt forta” as we say in Català.
Next time I’m down visiting my parents in Almeria I’ll let you know, perhaps a detour for coffee could be planned. Meanwhile, keep your words flowing and sharing your unique insights and get in touch if you need to. 💖
Yes please! 🙏 You saying you’re in Catalonia has made my draw back up there for a visit stronger. I have friends in Barcelona I want to visit, are you far from Barcelona? I studied my TEFL qualification there and lived for an academic year. I started learning my Spanish there, but my Spanish teacher said it was peppered with Catalan. My Catalan students were always rooting for me to learn Catalan first 😆
I live in Cerdanyola del Vallès not far from Barcelona. Came to Barcelona from Almeria 17 years ago to do my TEFL too!! Have been out here in the burbs for the last 7 years give or take. Please let me know if you’re up visiting and you can come walk with Tod and me in Collserola (he thinks it’s his garden😂)
Third time lucky trying to reply to this message! Crikey!
I used to go for walks in Collserola when I lived in Barcelona, it was my go to when I was in need for trees. Although I wasn’t on your side of it.
I love that your dog’s name is Tod! I feel like there’s an on your tod joke in there somewhere 😆
I will surely, I’m always amazed at how big Spain is so I’m not sure when it’ll be. But if you’re down this way, same as that, it’d be lovely to arrange a meet up 😊
Let’s do it! Meantime keep in touch and I’ll be looking out for new posts from you! I hadn’t thought about the on your tod joke! He was called Foxy in the shelter we adopted him from, so we went for the word for fox in Scots instead, as “guineu” the Catalan word doesn’t really trip off the tongue😊
This is such a beautiful expression of what you’ve been though 💔 do you subscribe to Jody Day? She writes a lot about being childless and has a community of others. My experience is different but I lost two babies which is why I relate to your writing.
No I don’t, could you send me a link? I’ll see if I can find her by searching. Thank you for sharing both Jody’s page but also your story. Sending hugs to you and remembering your lost babies 💚💚
Love this reply! I love your journey with hope. Your belief is admirable. Your mental strength amazing. Your ability to forge your way out of frightful situations incredible. Your determination is contagious! 😘💚
Wowzers. I love to read/hear of the relationship we each have with hope. That, and the part it plays in the journey into the unknown that so many of us are on.
For me, at one time it felt like all I had was hope. And it felt like I was setting off into the unknown, having had made my choice and big scary decision, with me and this big back of hope slung across my shoulder on a stick.
It was only when I came to look back I see I had so much more than hope. I had belief, mental strength and the ability to create my way out of the frightful situation I found myself in. I had no inkling or idea of what the future held or of any difference it would make. But, still, I set off into the unknown all alone. With my superpower, determination as my ally. Even though at one time I’d even turned against that.
Sheila,
I'm holding back the tears as I write, and I confess I'm fumbling for the right words, but please know that your words have really touched me. I have read a few of your posts this morning, and I just want to get in my car and come down to Andalusia and give you the biggest hug and sit with you a while.
I have been to hopelessness and returned and wavered back and forth almost all my life, but in the end I suppose it has been hope that has spurred me on, or perhaps sheer bloody mindedness and an inability to give up.
That's what I read in your words too, that you don't give up even at your lowest ebb.
Thank you so much for writing to me and with such heartfelt words. It is for moments like this that I share my writing, moments of connection and of deep knowing.
I would very much welcome you to Andalusia with a big hug and we could sit in the lovely spring sun over a coffee. Either talk or not, knowing we’re already connected through words.
I think the idea that hope is still there, somewhere, and a stubbornness that is keeping me keeping on is true. Even though it feels hopeless, I’m still here trying to find small joys in each day. I’m just putting one front in front of the other as I process what is pushing a low ebb indeed.
Un abrazo fuerte (sometimes Spanish is much more affectionate than English) 🫂💚
¡Aiii nena! Desde aquí en el norte te envío “una abraçada molt forta” as we say in Català.
Next time I’m down visiting my parents in Almeria I’ll let you know, perhaps a detour for coffee could be planned. Meanwhile, keep your words flowing and sharing your unique insights and get in touch if you need to. 💖
Yes please! 🙏 You saying you’re in Catalonia has made my draw back up there for a visit stronger. I have friends in Barcelona I want to visit, are you far from Barcelona? I studied my TEFL qualification there and lived for an academic year. I started learning my Spanish there, but my Spanish teacher said it was peppered with Catalan. My Catalan students were always rooting for me to learn Catalan first 😆
I live in Cerdanyola del Vallès not far from Barcelona. Came to Barcelona from Almeria 17 years ago to do my TEFL too!! Have been out here in the burbs for the last 7 years give or take. Please let me know if you’re up visiting and you can come walk with Tod and me in Collserola (he thinks it’s his garden😂)
Third time lucky trying to reply to this message! Crikey!
I used to go for walks in Collserola when I lived in Barcelona, it was my go to when I was in need for trees. Although I wasn’t on your side of it.
I love that your dog’s name is Tod! I feel like there’s an on your tod joke in there somewhere 😆
I will surely, I’m always amazed at how big Spain is so I’m not sure when it’ll be. But if you’re down this way, same as that, it’d be lovely to arrange a meet up 😊
Let’s do it! Meantime keep in touch and I’ll be looking out for new posts from you! I hadn’t thought about the on your tod joke! He was called Foxy in the shelter we adopted him from, so we went for the word for fox in Scots instead, as “guineu” the Catalan word doesn’t really trip off the tongue😊
This is such a beautiful expression of what you’ve been though 💔 do you subscribe to Jody Day? She writes a lot about being childless and has a community of others. My experience is different but I lost two babies which is why I relate to your writing.
No I don’t, could you send me a link? I’ll see if I can find her by searching. Thank you for sharing both Jody’s page but also your story. Sending hugs to you and remembering your lost babies 💚💚